No More Pain
'“Say to those with fearful hearts, ‘ Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution, he will come to save you.’” Isaiah 35:4
November 7, 2018, I was told during lunch that my brother and I were needed at the front office from my teacher. I was very curious as to why I not only was needed but my brother as well. So many thoughts were going on in my head as we made our way to the front office. “Do you think we’re in trouble?” I asked my brother. “No, I doubt it. Unless you did something,” he said. “No, I promise I didn’t do anything bad!” I told him. “Okay, I believe you,” he said.
Once we arrived at the front office, we were escorted into the principal’s office. My heart was beating extremely fast and nervousness rushed up and down my body. “I’m so sorry to hear the horrible news about your grandmother. Please know that we are praying for you, your family, and your grandmother.” He said.
He then handed over a wired telephone to me and with curiosity in mind, I asked who was on the phone. “Hi baby, it’s mommy. Your grandma’s in the ICU” she said. My heart dropped and at this point, I feared that the worst possible situation that I never thought would happen could be happening right then and there. I wasn’t only scared but a part of me had lost hope in everything and in God.
So much was already going on in my life and now that this had happened, I started losing my trust and faith in God. Little did I know that this was a test of my faith and trust in the Lord. I had forgotten about all the many times God had shown me grace and forgiveness and been so merciful to me. It’s so easy for human beings to forget about all the positive things that God has done for us during tough times but when we want something good to happen, we then turn to God and ask him for help.
My brother and I had been picked up about thirty minutes after we received the call and then started making our way to the hospital. With tears in my mom’s eyes, it was hard for me to hold back my tears but I knew I needed to be strong for not only my siblings but my little cousins.
When we arrived at the hospital, my siblings and I rushed to my grandma’s room. We were so eager to see her. At first, we were having trouble finding her room but I had heard a noise that sounded like lyrics to a song I knew. I followed the noise that was being made and we then finally found the room that my grandma had been in. I remembered seeing so many family members to the point where we had not only taken up the room she was in but two separate waiting rooms. I opened the doors to her room and my family made a way for my siblings and me to walk through to get to my grandma.
There she was, laying on her hospital bed looking so beautiful. A tear that fell down my face turned into many. It honestly hurt so much seeing my grandmother in the condition she was in. My grandma raised my siblings and me up to be the people we are today. Everything I do is for her. She is my rock and she is what keeps our family together.
“She decided not to do dialysis or take any treatment anymore.” said my uncle. “Why?” I asked. “She’s tired, baby. She can’t handle all of the tubes and needles going in and out of her body anymore,” he said. My heart hurt so much after I found out this saddening news. “She’s slowly dying basically. It’s her choice and now we have to respect and support her because that’s all we can do.” my dad said.
On March 18th, it will mark her one year of passing. Every day, I thank the Lord for every opportunity that I’ve had with her and that she’s no longer in pain. She’s taught me so much and helped mold me into the person I am today. She has been a blessing to countless people and will forever remain to be. I had such a deep and strong fear of losing my grandma but I came to peace knowing that I will one day see her in a place where there will be no more sickness or sorrow. I long for that day. Do you?
Written by Anaiah, AAA Student